Ask for help

Once in a while, I go to an alternative bookstore that has a selection of oracle/tarot cards for readings. (As metioned here http://sarahv2000.typepad.com/blog/2010/08/a-sign-to-explore.html)  

On Friday I was at the bookshop and made a selection - I got a card that suggested that asking for help is a good thing. That it is something worth learning and doing.

Incidentally, I'm sure the Sandra Bullock movie 28 Days has a plot point that involves learning to ask for help. I can't remember enough to make it relevant to this post, but I'm sure someone out there can. ;-)

When it comes to doing things, I'm pretty independent and go off on a mission to get things done. I just find that its easier than waiting on someone.

I have had an experience since that has resulted in me resolving to ask for help. With that decision made,  I find that I'm not sure what help I need. There are so many things that I need to work on and work toward that I'm a tad confused. I open it to you.

What help do you need? Who would you ask? How would you ask?

Comments

[Kris]

As another independent who seriously struggles with this and is only just learning to ask for help myself I totally get this one. I too also drew a card recently that suggested asking for help!
What help and how? things that I know aren't my strength or that I don't know much about, and it's not 'can you do this for me?' it's 'can you tell me how I should do this?'
Who? either people who just like to help or people that I know are good at the things I need help with (a good thing to remember is people LOVE to feel smart, needed, strong etc.and helping others provides that)
A good example for me was when I decided I wanted to go to America next year. I know my boss LOVES to plan trips so I mentioned to her in passing what my plans were and she did the rest...filled out my leave application, arranged for work to help pay my plane ticket, gave me websites for tour groups etc.
I hope this helps *hugs*

[Julie]

I had two major things happen in my life that "made" me learn how to ask for help. I was always the one who helped everyone else, so this was a serious lesson for me. Since then, it has become easier. And Kris is right, it makes us all feel better to help others. Please ask. Another thing I figured out, especially when we are not sure where to go for this help, is to simply put yourself in a quiet place and say to the Universe that you need help now, "for the higher good of all" is nice to add, or something along those lines. Just put it out there, the help will come.
(E-mailing you tonight.)
Julie

[Anna]

At some point during the past year, I came to the conclusion that it's ok to lean on the people around me. I'm lucky enough to have a few very good, trustworthy friends, as well as my parents, all of whom I feel comfortable asking for help, should I need it. I will admit that, for years, I never asked anyone for help. I just bottled up whatever was going on and tried to deal with it on my own. Part of that independence thing, I guess.

Kris & Julie are right, it does make people feel better to help others. And most people are willing to help. You just have to trust them.

Julie, I like the idea of sending the idea out to the Universe, too. I'll have to keep that in mind, the next time I'm struggling.

-Anna

[Stormy]

I've got to admit...as one who usually is the one everyone else asks for help, I don't know to whom I'd go. I struggle constantly with both the need to be "everything for everyone" and "martyr syndrome". I know...I know....you don't have to tell me. I've racked a multitude of failed relationships because of my idocyncracies. But in the end...helping people "completes" me.

You asked. Perhaps not the answer you sought, but....that's me.

[KellyJ (Bona Fide Betty)]

I had to learn how to ask for help when I went back to grad school. Because I can't be in two places at once. Hard to admit, but very, very true.

[Sarah]

Ack. Been on mobile for a few days so unable to reply here.

Kris - that's so great. You're getting the support you need.
Stormy - read your post on your blog about this and responded.
Kelly - You're right, sometimes need takes precedence.
Julie - will do. See my rain post today.
Anna - glad you've got that support system. Sometimes I feel as if I'm not getting my point across with what I'm asking. But I'm trying.