Rocking Reading Raani

Goals, ideas and optimism.

Now that I realise that I all but zoned out last year, I've decided to be more active in life and living the life that I have.

I'm considering doing a "43 things" or a "101 in 1001" project and am looking at what I'd put in the list. I already have a list of 100 things that I want e.g. I can speak Spanish.

My entire list is written in present tense in the hope that it makes it more likely to happen in my mind. It's almost more than optimistic, it might have grandiose aspects to it.

The 101 in 1001 projects that I've seen have a nice balance between grand and practical. The best thing though, is that all are underpinned by a sense of optimism, a belief in one's ability to try to do this.

I follow The Guardian on Facebook and get interesting titbits in my wall. This one I particularly liked for the optimism of the idea. And no small part of - well, if he could do it, I could do something similar. When an amateur tickler of keys makes an effort to learn a very, very difficult piano piece.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/jan/12/play-it-again-chopin-ballade-no-1-alan-rusbridger

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Gratitude
My friend who came out with me and let me go on and on about getting into a project like this to live life.
My folks for teaching me to cook.
My mobile phone - smartyphone makes it easy to see important emails and read cool Guardian/Independent/Telegraph articles.

Checked out.

I've been very distracted lately. With good reason but that's for another day. 

The one thing I did realise is that I checked out last year. During 2012, things were tough, partly because they were just tough and partly because I just mishandled the tough times.

I pretty much just went to work and philosphy class and any good things I did was because my cousin invited me to cool things. If it weren't for her, I would've been more reclusive than I was. (As I type this I'm not sure if I'm making any sense.)

This year, it's all about fixing the mistakes from last year. Emotional, educational, professional and financial fixes need to be made with self, colleagues, friends and family. This is not about resolutions, but about actually being present in my life and living a full life from day to day. Not a half life that is just work, library and home. 

I have an aquaintance that says "yes" to all invitations, provided that it doesn't clash with work or a previous "engagement." it seems to be working very well for him.

How do you live life to full, what single thing do you do that works for you? Why does it work for you?

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Gratitude

My philosophy class and my cousin, because I'm not sure I'd've left the house for anything but work if I hadn't had those two things in my life.

My access to the internet which is really helping me out with learning what I need.

My friend K, who is such a huge support to me, if just by keeping an eye out for things I'm interested in and sending the links my way.

A day with little to report 1

I'm going to number these type of posts because I suspect that there'll be many a day where I need to write something but don't have much of anything to write about.

I did stuff. I know I did but I don't have mcuh to say about it.  Moderately mundane am I.

Gratitude

I have a computer and printer and know how to use 'em.

Since I bought a smaller than usual diary, it didn't have a year planner so I typed one up. Now i have the birthdays. school semesters, special events and public holidays to view! Yay.

Multi-coloured pens - different colours for different entries on the year planner. It looks so pretty.

 

That question of a Superpowered reading list

I want a Superpower. Not just any kind of power, mind, but one that would be useful. 

In fact, in high school,  I used to want to be Modesty Blaise because of the skills that she possessed. She was always accomplished in a refined "finishing school" sort of way and could still kick a$$. Early on, I came to realise that whenever he put her in a tight spot, Peter O' Donnell wrote in the skill to get her out of it. I remember wishing it were that easy.

Last year, yes - 2012 is last year, a Metafilter user asked, "What one book could give me a new useful superpower if I follow it and put the methods in practice." I'm not a Metafilter user but found this via a tweet from I-don't-know-who! Here's the link  http://ask.metafilter.com/224344/What-one-book-could-give-me-a-new-useful-superpower

This user is obviously a kindred spirit - username is "sure no problem" ;-) while I'm sure of some things. :-D

One of my wished-for Superpowers is reading emotions and I first read about this in a Reader's Digest when I was in my teens. The folks ended our subscription when I was 18, so I am SURE that this was back when I was in high school.  As a result, I started to pay attention to faces. Later as I studied psychology, I got a little better at it. It is only recently that I bought (but still haven't read) Paul Ekman's books. He is the world-renowned expert on emotion cues.

Ever since I watched Firefly and Serenity I've wanted River's genius and dance skills, so I guess I've just gotta keep studying and working out. Actually, restart the aforementioned, as they've stagnated last year (also known as 2012).

So what practical Superpower would you like to have? Which book  will tell you how to get it? Do you already have a Superpower? Where did you learn it?.   

 

Gratitude

I had to do the ironing today, after months of getting it done for me. I am out of practice and it took longer than it should have. The silver lining is - I got clothes to iron. Purty clothes that make me look good. Ironing is a small price to pay for purtyness.

Top Gear re-runs because I laughed while ironing.

Fresh Ferrero Rocher chocolate because yum! (Apparently "green" hazelnuts are filberts and the "dried" ones in the ferreros are hazelnuts. Wh kknew?!)

The Curse of Just One More Chapter

I have a problem. I suffer from a terrible affliction. It's caused great difficulty in my life. 

It is the curse of "just one more chapter." You know the thing when you start a book and need to stop reading but keep reading with the idea that you'll stop after "one more chapter."

i think that it is similar to an addiction. When I read people's description of food addiction, it sounds similar. We know we should't but we do it anyway. After it's done we feel bad - physically and emotionally.

Since I read romance novels, I sometimes use the criterion of the 'nookie' scene. Wait till the protagonists "ahem" and i'll stop reading.

BUT! No matter what I do, I usually end up reading the book to the end. The worst part of this is that I start at 9pm and finish at midnight. In so doing I affect my effectiveness and efficiency. I also impact on my sense of wellbeing. I'm someone who feels lack of sleep in my joints - going up stairs is easy for me, regardless but I feel twinges and sometimes pain when I'm sleep deprived. When I've had enough sleep I can bound up stairs like a mountain goat (really).

This is the part that's the curse. And it is self-inflicted. I am doing it to myself.

Looks like I need to do something different. Maybe set an alarm to go after half an hour and then lock the book away so I'm not tempted to read till the early hours of the morning. 

I know that most people have life impeding reading. For me, I let reading impede aspects of my life. I've paid twice to renew an online course because I haven't studied. But I probably read 20 novels in the duration of the course. That's a poor use of money energy. All because I want to escape into the fantasy of a book.

What do you do to stop yourself from doing that thing that is "too much of a good thing?"

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Gratitude

My friend with wi-fi at her house who allowed me to use it.

My other favourite cousin who gave me a bit of a talking-to today. About the state of my lfe and what I need to do to get it sorted. It came from a place of love and I know I am blessed by having her care for me.

Cool music like "Million voices" by Otto Knows

 

Error on Page - damn you, typepad

It's day 2. And I'm carrying on.

 

I just lost a post so I switched browsers in the hope that this time it'll work. Serves me right for typing directly into Typepad window. I must learn to prepare better.

 

The things I want to talk about - the Metafilter superpower list

                                                - one more chapter

                                                - how to be more effective (and it's not by staying up late and trying                                                     to type blogs on uncooperative bloggy service providers.

 

Gratitude

- New computer that I'm going to learn to use properly so that Data Execution Program never bothers me again in my life.

- I paid bills without leaving the house. I love living in the future.

- I can touch type. Thank Gwarsh my Dad kept on me to go for a course, it's way better than hunt and peck. Especially when you lose a blog post and need to come up with a quick filler or risk losing sleep.

Welcome to 2013.

Happy New Year.

Jenny Crusie posted "Nothing but good times NOW" and it made me look at things through a slightly different lens. Having done so, I posted a reply on Argh Ink. This is edited and amended for the blog.

It’s the morning after the night before. And it was pretty damn epic.

I get the concept of “Nothing but good times NOW” because I have experiences to compare. For 2011 New Year’s Eve, I made plans to go to the big open-air party with two of my oldest guy friends and my cousin.

This was big, because I’d never been out with these guys before for New Years Eve even though they’re important to me (due to studies, family commitments and sundry annoyances). The whole group of my friends (guys and girls) used to party together but I didn’t. I used to listen to the stories after and wish fervently to be there. 2011 NYE was a chance to recapture some of what I missed out on.

Suffice to say, because I was hoping for something to be like the past, I didn’t see how good it was in the present. And I think that if you read stuff I posted in January 2011, you'd pick up that I was struggling with what I learned about myself.

For 2012 NYE, I let that all go and just decided to be. I drove my cousin and one of her best girlfriends and the three of us just hung out at a huge open-air party. The best thing happened. I had LOADS of fun, danced a lot and ended up running into a dear (newer) friend. I met her friends, and we all had a great time together for a while.

It’s not about what was. It’s all about what I can make of what is.

The best feeling was being the designated driver and being the last one home, driving at 4.30 am at dawn and just feeling that it was an end of a great night and start of a beautiful year.

This is my subsequent post on ReFAB.

This is year is already better than last year this time. And so I’m going to do whatever I can to keep this feeling going.

1. Socialise more with my friends – i.e. say yes to as many invitations as possible.
2. Fix my health.
3. Study the things that I’ve wanted to do all of last year.
4. Get ahead of paperwork and not let it slide. (That way being behind on work is never a reason for not saying yes to invitations)
5. Write daily. Just plug away ddaily.
6. Travel – near and far.

GRATITUDE

My friends who are a wonderful support.

My cousins who've become friends. Who knew we could ROCK OUT like that?

A good nap on the afternoon after the night before. Man, I needed that sleep.

It's Christmas Eve?!?!?!

Hullo

I truly can't believe that it's Christmas Eve.

I think I'm glad that the year is drawing to a close. I have much self-work to do to make sure that when I'm accosted by the toughs of life, I handle them well.

It's been bad. And I've sought out a path to make sure that in future, I handle my stuff better.

 

So gratitude for this year - my bloggy friends - I lurked more than I ever have  this year - reading Urthalun, LitDiva, Bona Fide Betty, Deborah Blake, Betty Fokker, Mary Stella and others too numerous to mention. I just either didn't want to type, or just didn't have enough to say.

I'm grateful to you all for just being there, you made me smile and think - and often laugh outright. May you all truly have much cause to laugh out loud over this festive time.

Safe places or spaces (as it were)

I've been battling my tendency to keep stuff for a while now. Upon a time or five, I've blogged it. But like the boulder rolled uphill, it rolls back down for me to start anew. (Myth of Sisyphus - very difficult to say Sisyphus's boulder with a straight face - try it and see!)

This obviously means that I'm doing something wrong to begin with.  I'm working on this. Promise.

As part of a way to re-frame the problem, I got rid of a lot of stuff and had new furniture custom-made to my specs. I was harried into this purchase by the folks. The mother in particular, who was *sure* that it would be the smartest move I ever made. 

Grudgingly I went along, helped by my dislike of the creased bottoms of long dresses in the not-high-enough and lever arch files placed on top of my existing closet (wardrobe) - and oh, partial payment by my mother in lieu of birthday gifts for the next ten years or so.

I hate it. I really do. It's not solid wood but some fakey crap. - which I knew going in but it looks so ugly. I didn't realise how awful it would look at home.

I had to move my desk and remove a wall-mounted shelf that sat above my desk. To the right of my desk I could turn my head and look outside, my bed was behind me and the left wall had the old closet. At no point was my back to a door or window.

Now my desk is against the other wall and my back is to the one window. Middle room so only one window. But I hate it. I lost my comfy space and I can't seem to reconcile with the change. It just feels wrong. I'm really tryin' to see the positive but I still feel threatened with my back to the window.

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Grudging gratitude. I' m tryin' 'kay?

Long dresses that do not need re-ironing before I wear them.

Lever arch files that fit into the shelves that I designed specifically for them.

A place to keep ALL of my hats even the widest-brimmed sunhat.

Blog-gy vs Portal-ly Bettyverse

I realised that I truly do miss the Bettyverse blog as a blog that existed in a single space. The current portal-function of it does not suit my blog-reading habits. 

I miss going to one place and asking for FGBVs. I'd feel ridiculous now, going to everyBetty's blog and asking for FGBVs. Though Betties, being Betties, would send vibes with love. It's not the getting of it that bothers me, it's the feeling of going cap-in-hand asking for it. 

I understand that when Lucy March ended her "A Year and Change" there was a need to create a community hub. I loved it. And now I miss it. 

And worst bit? I can't seem to find the posts as they stood before everything imploded. I need the nostalgia of  the comments, like I need my old favourite track jacket for comfort over function.

For the record, I wasn't reading when everything imploded, I know very little about it. And I dont have an issue with it being changed. I moved on and have not (noticeably) changed my view of the players, the game or the game-changers. I still read favourite Bettys' blogs even though wordpress wont let me comment without sign-in.

But I know that all will be well. I asked for vibes on Twitter and they seem to be coming in. I just wanted to be able to ask a specific community, in one place. ReFab is great, but Bettyverse it ain't.

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Gratitude

Thank Goddess for easy hair that I accept. The secret for me was to stop fighting the curls ans let them have their way. Now I dont have a bad hair day. Well, not unless I mess it up.